Damn it, I’m Fat Again!

My Story Of Weight Loss and Gain and Loss.

Here I go again! Some of you can empathize, some not. I am writing this to try to vent and get over my angst, depression, anger, whatever you want to call it.

At my latest Doctor visit for my quarterly blood work, ( I am a tiny bit diabetic), the good Doctor informed me that I had just tipped over the edge and am now, “Morbidly Obese”. I have known for years and years that I am too big, but the term threw me into a loop of self-hate and depression very quickly.

Let me go back a bit. I am 5' 11", and a fairly strong guy. In 2011, the winter, if my memory is correct, I had enough. I was up to 275 lbs. I hated the way I looked and felt. So I decided to lose some weight, my goal was 200 lbs. The Doctor I was seeing said I should weigh 185, I told him I would look like a stick and blow away in the wind. But, I downloaded the “Noom” app (back then it was free, or a minimal charge for add on stuff, now it’s $60/mo. Shame on them it really did work for me.) on my phone, and started watching calories, keeping to a maximum of 1200 calories per day. I also decided to start walking for exercise, and I got up to 5 miles every other day, with gusts up to 8 miles now and then. After about 2 weeks, the weight started to fall off of me. At the point where I got down to weighing 235(ish) lbs., all of my numbers snapped into line, blood pressure, A1C, my cholesterol was never a problem, (great genetics). So I was energized, and happy. I was away from home for about…